Living Your Best Teacher Life: Learn How to Set Boundaries and Say No!

Friends, it’s a new year!! 

And you know what that means… NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS!

Every single December, we all collectively decide the coming year is going to be our best. 

But let’s be honest, these last two years have been less than stellar, especially for teachers, thanks to a little something called “The Pandemic”.

However, as they say, third time’s the charm, and 2022 is going to be OUR year!

And that’s why it’s the perfect time to make (and follow) the one resolution every teacher needs to make: Setting boundaries.

Having interactions with your students’ parents and keeping them in the loop is important, but don’t let them walk all over you. After all, you’re the professional.

However, if you find that this is easier said than done, then you’re in luck, because today, I discuss how to live your best teacher life and learn how to say no with the brilliant Pat Quinn.

Ready?

Let’s dive in!

“No” Is a Complete Sentence

Everyone, I have two questions for you: Are you sick and tired of all the extra demands being placed on you as a teacher? And does it feel like, everyday, more work is getting piled on your plate?

If you answered “yes” to both questions, then you’re in luck. Today’s episode is all about learning how to advocate for yourself and stop sacrificing your personal time for the sake of your students!

And joining me for this episode is the brilliant Pat Quinn, who’s an amazing educator, mentor, and friend. And he’s here to teach you and me the best ways to set boundaries!

Why Clarity Matters

As Pat says in this week’s episode: 

“One of the reasons people have trouble saying ‘no’ is because they don’t have clarity on what they want to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to.”

This means that in every conversation, the person with the most clarity is the one who will get what they want. And the person with less clarity will end up saying “yes” to something they don’t want to do.

And that’s why the first thing Pat advises everybody to do is set boundaries and know what they’re willing to do before going into a conversation.

“Easier said than done,” you say? Well here’s a trick that will make doing that much easier for you. 

At the beginning of this year, sit down and ask yourself a few questions. “What am I willing to do as a teacher?”, “What am I willing to do for parents?”, and “What am I willing to do for my boss and my coworkers?”

Once you answer these questions truthfully, you’ll have the clarity you need to set firm boundaries with everyone around you.

Here’s What to Do if You Get Pushback

If you say “no” and get pushback, the best thing to persuade people is to tell them a story, not name facts. 

After all, if we’ve learned anything in the last 24 months, it’s that stating facts is a great way to start an argument. But telling stories doesn’t. 

Stories move and convince people. Plus, nobody can argue with a personal story, because stories are subjective, and they end the argument like nobody’s business. 

“Swim With the Fish”

Think of a river. In it, a group of fish are swimming downstream together. Imagine that those fish are one of the parents telling you you have to do things for them.

Now, you have two choices when you respond to the parent. 

One choice is to jump into the water and immediately swim against the parent. Sure, you could do that, but it would guarantee conflict. 

The second choice is to jump into the water and swim with the fish for a little while. That means agreeing on a couple of issues with the parent during your conversation. You might have to dig really hard to find something to agree on, but you’ll be able to do it! And only then can you slowly try to turn the fish and make them swim your way.

Same-Side Selling

The technique described above comes from a book called Same Side Selling. In it, the authors argue that when you’re trying to sell somebody something, you think of yourself as one side of the table and of them as the other side of the table.

But this thought process naturally creates a divide, with one winner and one loser. However, with same-side selling, the idea is that you’re both on the same side, trying to solve a common issue. 

How can you use the idea of same-side selling to your advantage as a teacher? Well, when you’re meeting with parents, don’t put yourselves on opposite sides of the table. That one thing can turn the dynamic from “power play” to “teamwork”.

This simple change will drive home the idea that you and the parent are working together against a problem, instead of working against each other. 

As Pat says, sometimes, the physical dynamics of the meeting are as important as the words said. 

Pat and I discuss this in more depth and share a few more tips on how to set boundaries, so, if you’d like to learn more, make sure to tune in to the episode above!